Going corporate? I'll send you an email!

After receiving an email from a "reliable source" at UMKC for internship opportunities I received two options:

1. Hallmark Cards is a privately owned American company based in Kansas City, Missouri. Founded in 1910 by Joyce C. Hall, Hallmark is the largest manufacturer of greeting cards in the United States. Approximately 50% of greeting cards sent in the United States every year are manufactured by Hallmark. Christmas is the #1 selling holiday in terms of Hallmark Cards sales.

2. Andrews McMeel Publishing, LLC (formerly Andrews, McMeel and Parker (1975-1986) and Andrews and McMeel (1986-1997)) is a company which publishes books, calendars, and related toys. It is a part of Andrews McMeel Universal, as is the Universal Press Syndicate.

Notable authors and titles published by Andrews McMeel include Mary Engelbreit, Anne Geddes, Bradley Trevor Greive, and Olivia.

Andrews McMeel is the general publisher of books of comic strips produced by Universal Press Syndicate including Calvin and Hobbes and FoxTrot. However, the company also produces book collections for some comic strips which are owned by other syndicates, for example Get Fuzzy and Pearls Before Swine.

Hm, starting out small in something I don't care about?! Man, throw me the fuckin' bread, dude. Big-time publishing companies are not my cup of tea. I guess I may have to get out of Kansas City for that deal. Anyone in Kansas City know of small publishers around here that aren't super corporate, etc? I plan on being poor for the rest of my existence, anyway. My cats won't care. I have no idea what I am going to do after college so I am just testing ground, I guess.

I really get my jollies out of the ridiculousness of the advice I have received from my academic adviser. I have not decided whether or not she is repeating robotic sentences or not yet. I mean, I have had the worse luck with them in the past. I had one tell me that I wasn't smart enough to take German. I guess it foreshadowed the rest of my college experience. Life has just chewed me up and spit me out in a rancid, black goo. I am now in the process of cleaning it off. Becoming a run of the mill seems like a life ender for me at this point. Is there no soul in anything? Ew. I hope I don't have to move to New York or something.

Anyway, small publications around here besides New Letters? I have heard bad stuff about the Pitch. I doubt I would have time after the end of this month to be a full on arts writer. I am thinking Review mag? Frankly, I'd rather steer clear of news. Of any kind. I like writing but not like that. Alex keeps telling me it's not about what you love it's just about making money. That's how it works in America. I really don't give a shit about these things but I feel like I should. I know this is a common complaint. Maybe I can jump from shitty place to shitty place. If that's the case, I need to get working on a decent portfolio that isn't full of obscure poetry, short stories and emotional dumpage that only appeals to an audience that is currently invisible (used to not be). Anna has told me that a few English majors she does know roboticize themselves for the day and write bad ass shit at night. I am a bit worried about this kind of logic. I have had trouble getting out of robot mode when I must be in robot mode.

Thinking about this stuff is nauseating. Time for wine and a cigarette. I have absolutely no idea what to do, really. I'm going to be jumping on coals for my existence. I keep jumping back and forth from one dumb idea to the next. Every one has as many downfalls as it does something good. And if I would just settle on something it would make things better. I mean, I am certain it would solve so many of my problems at the moment. I am certain I would even be able to smoke a joint again. You see, petty things like that.

Ah! Insanity!