how much on a blog?

Things like this make me so happy to be living here. cough.

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In other news, I have been writing a lot of angry blogs lately and then I delete them so no one can read them. I have considered leaving them up. If you can't stand my heat, get out of my kitchen. I have to come back to this position quite a bit in my life. If I don't have heat, then I am dying or having some kind of emotional problem / mental blockage. I am tired of putting up with bullshit and censoring my life. The more I censor, the more I feel the need to censor other people, their lives and their mistakes. As long as you're not an intentional asshole, I can't imagine the need for censoring or suspecting others should be doing the same. Unfortunately I know how difficult it is for me to feel that way, especially when you're in a room with a different kind of energy. If only things were simple. Luckily this blog isn't anyone's room but my own, just like my own journal, poetry, drawings or my own apartment. I have to remind myself of these things every day (despite whatever knowledge I have about the impossibility of having your own identity and blahblah) it's still important that this is my life. Balance is key. In the end, I am lucky.

I listened to an interview recently with a writer. I don't remember her name. They asked her about how her and her husband (both writers) handle the lack of secrecy that is key when writing. She said it's just something they accept. "The act of writing, in some ways, is a betrayal." I have been thinking about this a lot lately because it has been plaguing me. My life is full of writing inspiration but I had become too frightened to use any of it, with fear of expelling a secret. It's important to not have any secrets in this realm, but to balance it out (at least on this blog) with absolutely no possibility of one's personal information being leaked. This blog isn't a gossip news channel, though. That would be tack.

I just think that it's a waste of a writing blog to not write about bizarre things that happen to me and my perspective on them. It's boring to not be frank enough to be able to write a sentence.

I don't know why I considered writing this entry. I guess I must have needed to.