.

Before Sleep

I am my most gutsy before sleep.
Time rearranges in a hallucinatory
clarity that can only be managed
when I am so fed up
I rise above routine, ashes, other
people's frowns, smiles and responses.
It's four in the morning, my brother
is having seizures and I will sleep
through my alarm in three hours.
I am my most gutsy before sleep.
I'll go find those doctors and catch
pharma on fire and their way
of taking my age and drugging them
until we're all sitting on a bus, staring
straight into anothers' eye but we can
not be lyrical.
If you want a piece of me
find me before bed, when I pick up
the phone and divulge my secrets
to resonate with a world
where I have none. it's free,
it's 7 AM and there is no alarm,
I break things and walk naked.
My life is held down by a rottweiler
blocking the entrance to the amusement park.
I need an invitation, a straightaway
into a morning fable when the sun
rises and everyone wakes up,
walks away and Lou Reed sings,
"I do what I want
I want what I see!"
Hallucinatory sleep, I feel you coming.
Here it is! My life has begun! My death
is only inches behind me,
I see now. I love you now.
The edge of the world is no fear.
The sound of the gates rampages my nerves
with steel grates and laughter in and out of
train capsules.
I am running to the runway, the flight
to "goodness this winter won't be death
without you!"
Secret monsters breathe before me.
I am my most gutsy before sleep.