.

Life at the moment:

dead bug carcasses
braindead whiskey shot(s) morning
(audrey sized shots, that is)
dead text messaging conversations reminding me why I hated them in the first place
a sink full of dirty dishes
classes I am behind in after two weeks
terrorism
recession
starvation
emails from scam artists
the street person out front who told me I looked pretty today. i look like shit but his standards with women are non existent i only assume
i shouldn't generalize but i am
human shit down the block
panels ruling against john ashcroft
remnants of a memory with john ashcroft singing a song that sounds like all the rest,
a song with "eagles flying"
married men feeling like shit in ways i cannot comprehend
i am just a
child
march 21 birthdays
the angry bra
bad habits dying hard, hard
day old coffee
too many images of johnny cash, kitty wells and loretta lynn records
too many cardboard plastic smiles
arthur making a kitty fort
a list of business i have been putting off for two weeks
New York and my internal excitement since everyone else has been there but me
the thought of doing what i want for once
everything normalized
sort of
i am thinking i emerged out of the darkness and forgot what the beginnings of a dawn look like
too hungover to write shit.